


Emotion

by LittleMissMint



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fertility Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 13:24:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13571454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissMint/pseuds/LittleMissMint
Summary: Felicity always knew she didn’t want kids so she should have been fine when the doctor told her she was infertile... right?Includes: pregnancy, misscariage, infertility struggles, more pregnancy... you’ll have to wait and find out.





	Emotion

**Author's Note:**

> Hi readers! This is a brand new story that literally came out of nowhere. At this point in time I have a few ideas about where it is headed but if you have anything in particular that you would like to see, please let me know. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> NOTE: This piece of fiction by no means represents the way a woman should and shouldn’t feel about pregnancy as well as the way ones mind may change after coming to terms with fertility/infertility. Ever woman should have the right to choose their own path in life, especially when it comes to their bodies

There is something innately fascinating about pregnancy. The way it is constructed as a social expectation and personal desire to be met by all women. Throughout most of history a woman’s single purpose in life was to bear her husbands children and once she’d completed this task her self worth was placed beneath mediocre standards of living. Pregnancy, while no longer a woman’s soul purpose on this earth is still an expectation, an expectation that many women still meet because it is exactly that, an expectation.

 

Felicity was sixteen years old when she first realised she didn’t want children and she was twenty-one when the subject was casually brushed upon in a conversation with her mother. Utterly devastated by the prospect of no grandchildren, the matter hadn’t been spoken of since.

 

Yet, when Felicity met Oliver Queen, her life became far more complicated and far more exciting that anything she’d ever planned for herself, as a sixteen-year-old who had firmly decided she would never be a mother. In the early stages of their relationship, it became clear to Felicity that Oliver potentially felt the same way. His life as the Green Arrow assigned a certain level of uncertainty to his life and thus, their relationship, so she simply assumed children would be out of the equation. Besides, the topic never seemed to come up in random conversation, so Felicity kept all feelings regarding the matter to herself.

 

However, exactly eight and a half months into their romantic relationship, Felicity found herself staring down at a thin white stick that glaringly projected the word pregnant. The word that she had come to fear since coming to terms with her decision over ten year previous was staring back at her, a dull black text. After disposing of the test in a toilet paper wrapped roll, she suppressed the news for several days. She haphazardly continued her role as Overwatch and her relationship with Oliver without interruption, as a million thoughts raced through her mind every second of everyday.

 

It was on the seventh day from which she had avoided the situation, that Felicity realised something wasn’t right. Having woken up to an intense cramping sensation and a proceeding half hour in the bathroom, she initially brushed it off as the onset of morning sickness. A consequence by which she realised was nothing more than a reminder of the information she still had to reveal to her increasingly concerned boyfriend. That day marked her first ever sick day. She hurried Oliver out the door that morning, insisting she would be fine at home alone and that she would check in with him throughout the day. The reality of the situation was far more complicated as the pain in her abdomen was steadily increasing to a point where it was nearly unbearable. And yet, it wasn’t until she started bleeding that Felicity finally pulled herself to the office of her OBG/YN, to speak with a woman she didn’t visit nearly as often as she knew she should. When she arrived, Felicity had already begun to come to terms with what was happening to her. So much so, that she was initially relived at the prospect of having to avoid this predicament all together and pretend as though in never happened in order to move on with her child-free life. However, the severity of the situation was steadily made clear to her from the beginning of the first of many doctors’ appointments she would come to have.

 

That first appointment started with the word miscarriage and ended with the word tests. Tests… we have to take some tests to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Felicity didn’t correct her when the doctor assumed this pregnancy was planned. Besides, she was well into her twenties, partaking in a serious relationship and ultimately in the perfect financial position to be seriously considering children. So out of simple curiosity, she allowed the doctor to these tests.

 

She didn’t stop to morn the pregnancy she had lost and instead continued on with her feverish schedule, ignoring Oliver’s questioning gazes, as she was obviously not herself. It took months for any conclusive results to come back to her. In all honesty, Felicity hadn’t really put much thought into the matter, and declined a consultation with her doctor when she was informed that some explanatory results had finally arose. Instead, she insisted the results be sent to her in the mail, claiming she would read over them when she had the chance. And so that letter sat untouched on the kitchen counter for several more weeks before the thought finally crossed her mind. As she was lying in bed, the image of the letter suddenly appeared in her head and she found herself compelled to open it. It was exactly two-thirty in the morning when she ripped the envelope open to reveal an abundance of medical documents, coated in pale blue and green charts and a harsh red font. She re-read the page over and over again before finally accepting its conclusion.

 

She was listed as a subject of a luteal phase defect. A defect that, in short, affects her bodies ability to establish a nourishing lining for a growing foetus and therefore, causes a miscarriage when fertilisation occurs. As Felicity proceeded to research the defect, the consequences of the condition quickly came to light and ultimately informed her that she was essentially rendered infertile. The information left her feeling more than a little confused. She had initially convinced herself that the information should be a relief because of her desire to remain childless. Yet, somewhere deep in the pit of her stomach, a deep hole was forming, creating a sick, empty feeling as the information ran through her head each night.

 

It was only a few days after she had first read the results that she woke Oliver with the sound of her muffled sobs as she choked back tears into the corner of the pillow. Part of her couldn’t understand why she was crying, yet an entirely new section, that was currently in control of her emotions, could understand completely. She allowed Oliver to hold her for an entire hour before her throat stopped contracting and allowed her to breath the words she’d been holding back for so long. She didn’t however, reveal every detail of her revelation as her prior miscarriage was left hovering in the back of her mind.

 

Felicity was relieved when Oliver supportively helped her through her confusing mesh of emotions regarding the situation. Neither one brought up the possibility of children in the future as both silently agreed that it was a conversation for another time. Instead, Felicity’s infertility was received with nothing more than an abundance of comforting hugs and someone who didn’t mind helping her through the emotions it brought her.

 

Oliver and Felicity’s relationship ended when William entered their lives. Enough time had passed for Felicity to come to terms with her reproductive health and Oliver had seemed so sure of his understanding outlook on regarding the situation. But as Felicity watched him engage with his newfound son, she realised that her prediction regarding Oliver’s desire to raise children, may not have been so right. She watched him develop into a man she had never seen before. One with an intense amount of fatherly love present in everything he did. For Felicity, William suddenly represented everything she could not give Oliver and for some reason, that hurt her more than ending their engagement and continuing on as they always did.


End file.
